Friday, January 4, 2013

Rib Roast and Rolls FTW

If your family runs out the same tired holiday trash every year...turkey and dressing...ham and mashed potatoes....cocaine and waffles...and you are sick of that crap...well this post is for you.

A rib roast is the perfect holiday change up and it's sure as shitzle to please.  Throw in some homemade rolls and you'll be erupting at your dinner table.  With mouth joy.  That is the overflowing joy inside your mouth.

The rib roast is super simple.  Buy one fresh at your local grocery when they go on sale, generally for about $5.99 a pound.  Should run you in between $35 and $45 for one that can feed a family of 4-5.  
( Yeah there's two of them.  We're fatties )

Set it out on the counter a few hours prior to cooking so that it reaches room temperature. Preheat the oven to 450 degrees.  Then slap on a healthy dose of sea salt and course ground black pepper. 

( That's just the salt. Add the pepper too. I was a few beers in at this point )

Put a sheet of aluminum foil down on a baking pan and set the roast on top.  This will capture the meat drippings and you can make au jois if you like.  Put it in the oven at 450 degrees for about 25 minutes and then reduce the heat to 325 degrees. For a mix of medium rare to medium well throughout the roast, you are looking for a center temperature of around 140 degrees, which should be reached after another hour and a half of cooking after reducing the temperature.  If you like your meat more "done" then you should cook an additional 15-20 minutes. Let it sit for 10 minutes once it's out of the oven before slicing.  


Your first slice should be along the bones to remove them. 

Rub some horseradish on that bastard and get to eating.  If straight horseradish is too strong, cut it with some sour cream.

The sweet yeast rolls are a little more effort...but they are so good you could skip the rib roast and eat these shits by themselves. They do take a lot of prep, a lot of waiting and a lot of "working"  but they are so worth it.  I wouldn't recommend trying them for the first time while making a holiday meal...practice first.

Here is the recipe. It's Paul Prudhomme's.  And thanks to the Moms for being my hand model.  And doing all the work.


About 7 cups all-purpose flour, in all
6 Tbsp sugar, in all
1-1/4 tsp salt
2-1/2 packages dry rapid rise yeast 
2-1/4 cups hot water (105-115 deg F)
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1 Tbsp unsalted butter, melted

I took a lot of pictures because this really is a big undertaking for someone with absolutely no experience in the matters of bread making...maybe the additional visuals will give you the confidence to give it a shot.  Or maybe you'll just untwist your loaf of Wonder, bite into it, and sob softly to yourself as it sticks to the roof of your mouth.  

In a large bowl, mix 6 cups of the flour, 5 tbsp of the sugar and the salt. 

In a separate bowl, combine the yeast and the remaining 1 tbsp of the sugar with the hot water. 

Let sit 5-10 minutes,  stir until yeast granules thoroughly dissolve. 

Add the oil to the liquid mixture.

Add half of liquid mixture to flour and mix with your hands to moisten the flour as much as possible. 

Add the remainder of liquid mixture to dough and mix until the flour is thoroughly incorporated.

Turn onto a lightly floured surface and knead by hand until smooth and elastic to the touch, about 10 minutes.  

Gradually add 1/2 to 1 cup of additional flour (add only enough to keep dough from sticking). 

Place in a large greased bowl and then invert dough so top is greased; cover with a dry towel and let stand in a warm place (90-100 deg F) until doubled in size, about 1 hour. 

During the summer you can place it near a window...during winter you should probably preheat the oven to two hundred, turn off the oven, wait a few minutes, then put the bowl in the oven and close the door.  

Grease a large baking pan or casserole dish with veg oil.  

Punch down dough. 

Form rolls by pinching off small portions of the dough and rolling them into small balls a little larger than a golf ball.  

Don't roll the dough between your palms, rather fold the ball over itself three to four times then dip it into the pan face down to grease that side, then bottom down in rows.  

Once you've made all of the rolls, cover and let rise for another 35 minutes or so until they have doubled in size again. Then bake at 325 until lightly browned 35-45 minutes. Brush tops with melted butter 5-10 minutes before done and return to oven. 

I'm a terrible blogger and got too drunk to photograph the last couple of steps.  But you can get an idea of what it was like from the plate I subsequently demolished. Trust me...worth ever bit of the effort!


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