Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Arty Farty Museum Party

So I recently took a trip to Chicago and photographed a bunch of "art" at the Art Institute of Chicago.  Since I think I'm so funny, I decided to add comments and share with the world.  You're welcome.  

Seriously?  That Kimono is sooooo Tokugawa period...

First Japanese boy band.

Tsingtao beer bottle openers.  

Yes, I know it's November, not Movember.  You guys just aren't getting this...  

...I should've gone to the Indian Casino...

Like peanut butter and jelly. Like milk and cereal.  Like vaginas and cow skulls.  

The crowd patiently waits for the Hurricane Harbor staff to turn the wave pool back on.  

The sign says Jesus and John the Baptist...but I'd like to hear the double rainbow guy's take.

I don't think the new bartender knows how to make a cherry vodka sour...

I just know I went over my data usage this month.  By a lot.  

Cap your own here folks.  

The End.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Fun with Skin Cancer Part 2!

So the fun thing about skin cancer is...there are so many interesting ways to treat it!  You'll never get bored with how they F with your epidermis!  

This looks like a good time right?  A one man rave complete with blue light and goggles?

Well they put a chemical on your face and then you sit for an hour in the waiting room.  How do you pre-game for a one man blue light rave?  The world is your oyster my friend.  Do whatever you want. I think I read a book and regretted all my life decisions.  

Then they sit you in front of the blue light for 16 minutes and 40 seconds.  Exactly.  Science has told us that that is the exact right number of time to sit in front of the light.  If you believe in Science.  I'm still on the fence.  

It pretty much burns the shit out of you...and you're feeling it in the first 35 seconds or so.  Your skin is screaming bloody murder pain shrieks.  Some people pass out.  Some people mess themselves.  Some people just sit there.  I just sat there.  And then later I looked like this!

( The red spots are the pre-cancers.  The facial hair I have no excuse for.  8 years strong now )

So the first of these treatments wrecked shop real good.  First it blistered.  Then I got some weird red spots.  And just a general shade of red seared into my face.  Then I peeled.  And peeled.

It's not just a cosmetic inconvenience either.  After doing a treatment you can't go into the sun for 48 hours...or the chemical will reactivate and continue to burn your face.  And if you get a reaction like I did then you probably aren't going to go into the sun for....ever.  I write this from a cave 2,000 feet below the Earth's surface.  The second treatment wasn't so bad.  Probably because the first one was.  

( This guy nose cancer! )

After I was done peeling I did get a lot of compliments on how good my skin looked.  I guess thats what happens when you lose 5 or so layers of epidermis.  You look smooth as a baby's behind.

So wear your sun screen folks.  Seriously.