Grilled Chicken Alfredo

Having friends over and need a home-run recipe to entertain?…Alfredo never fails. Unless your guests don't do dairy.  In that case, don't ever invite people like that over to your home anyway.  

Ok, so this is a stupid simple (and cheap) fettucini alfredo recipe.  I made some grilled chicken to go with…you could also do baked chicken or sauteed or grilled shrimp.  

( With my hands I created this.  Thanks be to you, Prometheus )

Fire up the old charcoal grill.  A couple of easy tips if you don't use charcoal much:

1. Pile your bricks in a pyramid. This will pay sufficient respect to the Egyptian Fire Goddess Sehkmhet.  

2. Soak them in a s#*t load of lighter fluid…cover and let sit for about 10 minutes.  

3. Light it up and let it burn for about 10 minutes uncovered.

4. Spread the coals in a single layer and wait for another couple of minutes for them to get red hot before adding your meat/veggies.

( You have to treat chicken like a lady.  A lady you're performing plastic surgery on )

De-bone some chicken breasts (fresh is always best) and then wash them off. 

Mix a couple of teaspoons of dried oregano, dried thyme and salt with a couple of tablespoons of olive oil.  If its too paste-y then add a little more olive oil.  

Spread it on the chicken breasts.  If you've got time you can put them in a big ziplock bag and let them marinate in the fridge…it's also fine to slap them s#*ts right on the grill.  

( I should have trimmed that white tendon...damn't this whole dinner is ruined! )

Once the coals are red hot (they've been burning a good 15 minutes already) then put your chicken on. 

I prop the grill lid so that one side of the grill has a 2-3 inch opening.  That way air will circulate and keep the flames red hot.  

Flip the chicken after about 5 minutes. Move the pieces around so that each one sears on both sides. Cooking time will depend on how thick the breasts are and how much charcoal you used.  If you have a meat thermometer you are shooting for a temperature of 165 degrees in the middle of the breasts. Otherwise just cut into them and make sure they aren't pink.  

( Winner winner... )

Check on your guests to make sure they are still alive.

  

If they aren't having a good time...pour alcohol down their throat.  If they still aren't having fun...there's no hope.  

While the chicken is on the grill get a pot of water boiling for your pasta.  I use Bertoli fettucini from the refrigerated section of the local grocery (fresh is always best). It only takes it a couple of minutes to cook.  Add a little bit of olive oil and salt to the water.

In a separate bowl whip a pint of whipping cream for about 3 minutes with some egg beaters or a mixer (you can use half and half for a lighter sauce).  

( I know.  I really need some legit mixing bowls )

In a large pan get some butter melting over medium heat.  You can use somewhere in between a half stick and a whole stick...the more you add the better it will taste…but then again…you're eating a whole stick of butter Paula Dean. Don't come cryin to me when you get the Betes.  Mix in a tablespoon of minced garlic.  For all of your just looking at the pictures...it should be noted I'm making a double recipe.  Of course if you are just looking at the pictures then you wouldn't have read that last sentence.  Or this one.  

( Butter and garlic.  God's gift to our bellies )

After about three minutes, add the whipped cream to the garlic butter.  

( Yeah...there's nothing healthy about this recipe.  And it gets worse )

Then add 4-6 ounces of grated parmesan cheese.  Lower the heat and stir occasionally.

( Don't stare at this picture too long.  Sadly just looking at it will in fact make you fatter )

Meanwhile get your pasta in the boiling water and stir it around so that its not clumping together.

It only needs to cook about 4 minutes and it's ready to be strained.  Return it to the pot and pour your alfredo sauce in. 

Sprinkle some cracked black pepper over the pasta.  Then crack an egg and drain everything but the yolk.  Add the yolk to the pasta. Toss until the pasta is evenly coated.  It's ready to become heaven inside your mouth.

Take the chicken off the grill, slice it how you like it, and dump it on the pasta.  Serve with salad, asparagus, and some wine if you like.  

Voila.  Your guests will love it.  If they don't, kick them out and never invite them back over.  Bastards.

( These people weren't bastards.  At least not for not liking the chicken alfredo... )

Enjoy.  Thanks to Ary Collier for being my photographer!